The Brave Little Toaster

“Be strong and take heart” – Psalm 31:24

One of my all time favorite movies is The Brave Little Toaster.  I love how this little ragamuffin crew of appliances takes on life, full force.  Their sense of adventure and bravery always made me smile and inspired me to dream big dreams of one day having my own adventures.  Who knew that my adventures would one day be halfway around the world?   

I got my big break after I graduated from high school in 2008.  I was given the opportunity to take a year off and serve at a school in Rwanda that was started after the genocide.  I could not be more pumped for the opportunity.  During my time of preparation, I tried to assemble my own ragamuffin crew to adventure with.  It looked a little different – me, my dad, my malaria pills, my yellow fever card and endless amounts of socks and bug spray.  Talking about adventure and undertaking adventure happen to be two very different things.  I boarded my British Airways flight with courage in my heart, my dad in the seat next to me, and two duffle bags that just missed the 50-pound mark.  I was so set to take on the world!

My feet had never journeyed off the North American continent and it turns out, halfway around the world is different than anything I had ever seen, heard, smelled or tasted.  My strength and courage fled from me.  I was scared and uncomfortable and questioning what this “adventure” stuff was all about.  I wanted the courage all of those cartoon household appliances had… And I had none. 

My dad stayed with me for my first week in Rwanda.  It was an indescribable gift to have him by my side.  I saw a side of my dad that I had never seen before.  He carried enough strength and courage for not only himself, but for me as well.  He was so brave with each passing day.  We saw things that startled us, moved us, humbled us, and freaked us out.  We saw beauty that no words could describe.  We hiked through the jungle and up volcanoes to see the mountain gorillas.  We walked down dirt roads and kicked old soccer balls with all the students at school.  We overlooked the vast countryside of Rwanda with our mouths wide open, in shock of the beauty.  We got our hearts wrecked as we visited different locations that played crucial roles in the genocide.  We heard stories of grace, forgiveness and healing for those who were personally affected by the genocide.  We took out an old wooden boat on Lake Burera.  We sat sipping tea on Lake Kivu.  We set up my cell phone.  We set up a bank account.  We stared poverty in the face.  Life was in full force, coming at us at 100 miles per hour for 7 straight days. 

It was the day before my dad was leaving and we were sitting in our Guest House, packing up my things to move in with my new Rwandan family and packing up his things to return back home.  He asked me if I was ok and I lost it.  Tears flowed uncontrollably down my cheeks.  I couldn’t control the mass amounts of emotions that were welling up inside.  I was scared.  I had zero courage left.  All my bravery had fled and hid under the bed.  But my dad, with perfect bravery, flawless courage and the most trust in God I had ever witnessed in him, just gave me the biggest hug.  He let me cry.  He prayed with me.  He wrote down every bible verse he could think of for me to reference on the days where I was desperate for affirmation and truth with what I was doing.  He took a pen and a piece of paper and made a daily routine for me.  He wrote down all my contacts in Rwanda.  We talked about “how to do life”.  I’m convinced that him leaving me hurt just as much as it hurt me to say good-bye, but like the incredible father he is, he forged on with love and bravery because he knew I needed him.

As I spend this week working in Rwanda, I cannot help recalling how brave my dad was (and is).  I’ve spent most of the passing moments shedding tears… However, the state of my tears have changed.  They aren’t the same kind of tears they were 6 years ago… They are tears of joy and thankfulness and humility for my dad.  As I go to all the places we first visited together, walk the now familiar streets that were once so unknown, hike through the same jungle we did 6 years ago (on my own this time), and meet with friends who once knew us as a “package deal”, I can’t help but thank my dad for his strength when I didn’t have any.  If it weren’t for his flawless bravery, his willingness to hand me over to the Lord, and the courage to travel across the world for me, my undying faith in the Lord would not be as steadfast as it is now.  Although neither me nor my dad knew what would become of all of this at the time, we were trusting in our heavenly Father who loves both of us so much more than we could ever love each other.  The simple seed of faith that my dad poured into me turned into a garden bursting with life that some may refer to as Rays of Grace :)  

All of you out there reading this: take heart.  Rays of Grace is the product of heartache, brokenness, faith, love, hope, restoration, strength, courage, willingness, fear, grace, and a whole lot of bravery from a whole lot of people.  It didn’t happen over night and it will continue to be molded and shaped by our Heavenly Father.  He has used so many different people as tools to bring Rays into a beautiful harvest.

I am shocked at the love I receive from both of my parents.  I have never experienced such a deep, rich love.  It is in the moments when I am in awe of both of them that the Lord whispers to me, “I love you so much more than that”.  Holy cow.  That’s a lot of love.

  

So, Daddy, thank you.  Thank you for believing in me and more so, for trusting in God.  Thank you for teaching me that the foundation of anything and everything is Jesus and without Him, nothing will stand.  Thank you for being brave for me when I didn’t have an ounce of courage left.  Thank you for teaching me so much about my Heavenly Father.  You mean the world to me and I love you with my whole heart.  I’ll always be your “Pretty Britty”

love love love and grace and some newfound courage,

britt  

Black&White In a World of Color

"After this I looked, and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and in front of the Lamb" - Revelation 7:9

If you would've told me six years ago that I would be a teacher, a preacher, a wiper of boogers, a dryer of tears, a cleaner of throw up and a changer of clothe diapers... I would've been convinced that you were confusing me with someone else.  Now all these things are engrained in my daily routine.  I've learned that nothing is "too gross" and nothing is "outside of my job description".  I've learned how to clean up after our little ones when they get sick on the dirt floor at school.... It's not quite as easy as calling the janitor or grabbing the mop.  I've learned that the simple act of holding a three year old ever so tightly through the pains of malaria can be just as good as medication.  I've learned that if Jesus's name is the reflection of everything that I do, nothing else matters.  I've learned that working your BUTT off for 12 hours a day with nothing in return but stained clothes and a heart that explodes with joy, then it's the best day of your life.  I've learned more about love, grace, patience and sharing from our students in Nursery School than I have in my entire 24 years of life.  I've seen 12 teachers work all day every day to receive nothing in return, a part from 302 students receiving an education.  I've met a small group of people in the slum every Thursday to share The Gospel only to watch our numbers grow and The Word spread to the point where we are now holding studies three different nights a week in three different areas of the slum because the GOOD NEWS is spreading and people are hungry for Jesus.  I've gone to give an offering in a village church only to look into the basket to see two eggs SACRIFICED for The Kingdom.  With tears rolling down my cheeks, my money seemed worthless in that moment.  I've made friends from Pakistan, India, Germany, Canada, America, Rwanda, Uganda, England, and places in between.  I've had cruel wake up calls to being so sheltered... "You're American?  You must be so scared of me because I'm from Pakistan" - I didn't have words... Only tears and a hug and a new Pakistani family to call my own.  I have had every comfort zone erased, every boundary shattered, every notion evaporated and every pretense gone with the wind.  It's as if I am relearning everything right alongside of my favorite 3 year olds at Mountain of Olives.  I have heard the words of a genuine prayer from families that have nothing to their names... Families that have 10 mouths to feed and the government just bull dozed their home because they decided they needed to put a wall up right where that family stayed.  I've had sleepless nights because I feel the Lord challenging me and asking me to give more and go deeper.

I brought in my 24th year thousands of miles from home with a resounding feeling of freedom.  I watched the African sun rise over Lake Victoria as the fishermen paddled out in their wooden boats into the mist of the early morning.  I jumped off a jenky platform plummeting into the Nile River.  I sat in a small village school called Mountain of Olives as 12 humble teachers threw me a birthday party... Sacrificing hard earned money to bring me a birthday cake accompanied by trick candles.  I've swam in the Nile River and shared laughter and drinks with friends that have turned into family.  I have let go of everything I once held onto so tightly.

What have I received in return?  Sheer, utter, complete freedom and joy in Jesus.  A glimpse into The Kingdom every.single.day. because I'm allowing the Lord to show it to me.  Yes, some days I just want to hug my AMAZING SUPER MOM, SUZIE, and go get my nails and toes done and stroll through all of our favorite shops in town.  Yes, I find myself day dreaming of a slumber party with my sister, Sydney... followed by her dressing me in the cutest and latest fashionable little number and eating jellie beans and laughing until we get grounded by our dad at 24 and 26 years old.  Yes, there are times all I want to do is go see my sister, Lindsay, and her new little life in Dallas and eat junk food with her and watch movies all day.  Yes, I would give anything to go on a mountain drive with my brother, Blake.  Sometimes my heart aches for a day filled with skiing and silence with him.  Yes, I would LOVE to sit with  my dad all morning at our favorite little coffee shop in Boerne, Texas talking about EVERY topic under the sun.  Yes, all these things are rich and lovely.  However, heaven will be so much more than my best day or my best moment with any of them.  And until Jesus returns or calls me home, I will let go of these comforts and love and serve with my whole heart right here, right now, in Uganda.

Slum Time is the BEST TIME!

Our Ugandan Director, Jackson 

Lisa, the brain child behind slum bible study

Aggrey, the engineer designing Mountain of Olives Nursery and Primary School

Moments with Baby Chantal 

Perfectly painted birthday sunrise

Bungee jumping into the Nile 

A birthday party for the books

Fetching water with our students 

Visiting Jackson's family and home village 

The happiest walk to school that you ever did see 

Nick teaching P6 bible class 

Our little ones during PE time at school 

I encourage you to live and love abundantly.  To say yes to things that scare you and to try things you never thought you would.  Go outside of your comfort zone and be a light to all those you cross paths with.  Live in a way that makes people fall in love with The Kingdom.  And of course, always join us on this crazy journey at www.raysofgrace.org :)

As always, sending you such big love and grace...

With all of my heart,

britt :)  

My Feet: 2014 Edition.

"Go out into the world uncorrupted, a breath of fresh air" - Philippians 2:15

There is a lost art in walking everywhere.  The ability to journey alongside of someone is something I've grown to love.

Everyday, I slide on my raggedy old pair of Rainbow sandals that I've had since my Junior year of high school.  They have molded to my feet in the most perfect way and have accompanied me through slums, suburbia, dirt roads, and neatly paved neighborhood strolls. My feet have seen a lot of life in these bad boys.

You see, I used to cruise through everyday in my little candy red Mazda 3 - probably one of my favorite material possessions of all time.  We went together so well.  My Mazda 3 took me all across America - over mountains, through the desert and to the seashore.  Some days I thought I could never live without it... Major drama points for me :)

So, as my life of luxury has changed to a life of "take only what you need", I have found the richest joy of my 23 years.  I have a backpack and duffle bag of things to my name and I couldn't be happier.  This journey of life has been shared with so many people as I walk to the market, walk to the slum and stroll through the village where our future school will be.  I have made lifelong friends and have gained family members by the dozens here in little ol' Uganda.  I have a brigade that walks me home every night.  I have Matthias, my favorite 13 year old, that walks with me to the market, to the bank and every place in between.  He loves biology and will be a doctor one day :) I have shared rich conversation with our Ugandan Founder, Jackson, as we walk the land where Mt. of Olives Nursery and Primary School will be built.  We talk about our families, our dreams, the hard times and the epic ones.  I have ridden on the back of my favorite Ugandan dad's motorcycle, Randall, as we cruise through the rolling Ugandan countryside on the way to school.  He waits at the end of my street for me and welcomes me home literally every.single.day.  He rules.

In all of my wandering, some days with a purpose, some days without, I have found the beauty in simplicity.  I have found my priorities shifting.  I have found that these nearly 8 year old Rainbow sandals and these nearly broken down legs of mine will do just fine :)

There's a journey to be shared as fellow travelers.  There are laughs to be shared and dreams to dream.  Africa has done so much right with living life to the full.  Time spent and love shared is worth so much more than any dollar could ever amount to.  There's this currency of grace and salvation that has transformed my heart time and again.  My African family has taught me so much about being pure in heart and living for Jesus every moment of every day.  To be a breath of fresh air even when the journey is long and the walk into town is 90 degrees with humidity that makes you sweat without even moving.... It's all beautiful.

So join us as we fall out of love with this world and fall into a deep, crazy love with The Kingdom.

Our journey: www.raysofgrace.org

ONWARD.

endless amounts of love&grace always,

britt :)

   

   

At A Price.

“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?  You are not your own; you were bought at a price.  Therefore honor God with your bodies” – 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

For a little over 23 years now, I have been hanging out inside the confines of the same body.  Truth be told: most days up until the past year, I have taken it for granted.  I assumed that being alive, pain free, and healthy was pretty darn normal.  I assumed that living an active lifestyle was something that would always be attainable to me.  I could care less about the miles I ran or the number of times I fell down and scraped my once “good” knees.  I would race my two older sisters (Lindsay and Sydney) and my little brother (Blake) all around parks, backyards, the house, the golf course, and the trampoline.  

the MOST RAD siblings a girl could ask for

I would run for hours on end with my friends on the playground, only stopping for snack time.  I was never restricted in any activity and never in a million years imagined that I ever would be.  The only time I dabbled with the emergency room was when my sister, Sydney, and I were racing to the car to go pick up a pizza with our dad.  Our super mom was out of town for the weekend, which meant close-to-no rules.  As Sydney and I darted towards the car, my hand caught an edge and sliced open.  Long story short, we called every mom in the neighborhood asking what to do and wound up at urgent care, stitching that bad boy up.  It made for a cool story, a decent battle wound, and a get out of 1^st grade writing activities free card.  Being hurt seemed super awesome in my 1^st grade mind.

As years passed and the intensity of my activities grew, I found my body training harder and being pushed to limits that were destined for destruction.  My athletic career went from backyard night games, to competitive soccer.  I began to take this once healthy body for granted.  It was the Spring of my freshman year of high school and we were one practice away from the state quarter finals.  In all of my freshman glory, I had been given an opportunity to start the next game and was working my butt off in practice.  All it took was one moment of one normal day to alter the rest of my life.  I blew out my left knee that day.  I was 15 when I received my first surgery.  For the last 8 years, I have been in and out of doctor’s appointments, MRI’s, x-rays, blood work, surgeries, physical therapy, braces, crutches, and heartache.  In just one short week, I will be receiving my 8^th knee surgery.  These surgeries used to seem routine, but now they break my heart.  They don’t break my heart in a “whoa is me” kind of way, but rather in an “I can’t believe I let things get this out of hand” kind of way.  The bone damage that I received in my original injury caused my knees to never fully heal.  Rather than humbling my heart and myself, and looking into alternative lifestyle options, I went harder and more intense.  Through all of the overcompensation, I damaged my right knee, my hips, my back and my shoulders.  I’ve received injections, prescriptions, and doctor’s telling me what surgery I can have on what joint at what time.  Arthritis is an old friend now and most days, I wish that I were old enough for joint replacements.

So fast-forward to the present: All of my activities are limited to a certain amount of time and a certain level of intensity.  I spend 2-4 hours a day in therapy.   I have been humbled to my core with the reality that nothing in this world, down to my very body, is my own.  You see, this body of mine that I have been hanging out in for 23 years, is only here for one reason – to be a tool for The Kingdom.  God has absolutely used every moment of the last 8 years, whether broken or healed, to reveal more and more grace.  With another surgery rapidly approaching, He has shown me that I am only here to bring more home and that I better fight like crazy to take care of myself so that He can use me fully.  With the loss of control of my physical being, it has taught me to let go of everything… And trust me this isn’t a quick thing that happens over night.  It has taken prayer, heartache, rejection, tears, crying out, and bad days to reach this point of peace.  Peace in acknowledging that I’m not in control and never will be.  God has used physical handicaps in my life to teach me how to give things up that once upon a time, I felt entitled to… like being on the ground in Uganda and Rwanda full time, taking a morning run, a college education, four years of soccer at my dream university, a safe life with a steady job, a white picket fence, four kids, and a super foxy husband (just to name a few).  I have taken these desires and handed them right on over to God.  Sometimes handing my dreams over feels like I have lost a piece of my heart.  I have come to find that, that piece had to be removed, only to leave a gaping hole so that there was more space for God.  The Holy Spirit came to fill those “missing pieces”.  And now, I don’t want any of those pieces back.  The fullness I feel in my soul was worth every painful teardrop that came with losing those things that I once held onto so tightly.

Most days I catch myself dreaming of rollerblading with Sydney again, passing the soccer ball with Lindsay, making up crazy games with Blake on the trampoline... Sometimes I cry at these thoughts, knowing that they are out of my physical reach.  But on the other days, I have to smile at them and thank God that once upon a time, I experienced the fullness of being physically healthy and free. 

the good life

As my American Dream turned from white picket fences to my next plane ticket back to the third world, I have learned more than I could ever put into words.  I urge each of you to be fully present wherever you are, whether sick or healthy, with or without, mourning or dancing, be fully present.  Don’t miss a thing.  Don’t wish this day away because you will never get it back.  Don’t wish for what others have, rejoice in the beautiful things you’ve been given.  Pray big prayers and love in a big way.  Love in a way that turns people’s days around.  Be a light in this dark place.  Take care of yourself and learn to love all that you are, because there’s only one of you and chances are, you are pretty gosh darn rad.  Don’t lose sight of the present by getting caught up in what’s to come.  Remain hopeful and wishful, but don’t lose sight of the reason you are here on earth.  Use your body as a temple so that others can see The Kingdom.

Thank you for keeping up with Rays of Grace and all of the in between of this crazy little ride I’m on.  My heart is constantly overflowing with thankfulness for each of you :) Giving you all a big old hug :)

With all the biggest love ever of all time,

britt :)       

i carry your heart//i carry it in my heart

“God rescued me from the grave, and now my life is filled with light” – Job 33:28

One week ago today, I met a man named Steve.  Steve and I met on a bridge somewhere in the middle of Washington State.  Steve had just recently celebrated his 58^th birthday and chose to rejoice in all of his wonderful years on earth by jumping off a bridge with his nephew, Chris.  Lucky for me, I also woke up and decided that last Sunday would be an excellent day to jump off that same bridge.  You see, the day before, I had run into a sign that read, “Bungee jump off the highest bridge in North America”…. And I thought, “Hey self, let’s do it”. 

So there we were, Steve, Chris and I, all getting ready to loosen our grips on reality and free fall into a breathtaking canyon.  

{.glory.}

The birthday boy was up first.  My heart flooded with joy and my eyes overflowed with tears as I watched him hoist himself up over the bridge railing, and out onto the tiny edge that you throw yourself off of.  The smile on his face couldn’t be removed, even if he tried.  Steve was laughing.  Steve was breathing.  Steve was nervous.  Steve was alive.  My eyes shamelessly let the tears fall as I saw his passion for this life come alive.  As our bungee friends yelled, “3! 2! 1! JUMP!”, Steve hurled himself into the mystic.  His nephew, Chris, and I were laughing and clapping and taking pictures and videos.  As they pulled Steve up out of the valley, his smile was even more radiant than before.  I could tell he felt his heart beating in his chest.  I could tell he would never forget his 58^th birthday.

Then it was my turn.  I handed my camera to my newfound friends and asked if they could snap a quick shot of me before so that I could send my mom a quick,

{“Hey, just about to jump off a bridge” message}

They laughed and recommended that perhaps I send her a picture after I have made it back up safely… I took their advice :) I breezed through the safety check and then got my very own invitation to step over the railing and out onto the ledge.  

{invitation accepted}

It feels a lot different when you’re the one jumping rather than watching your new friends jump.  I couldn’t stop laughing and smiling as I thought about what an incredible opportunity this was.  Then just like that, my instructions came…

{“Alright Britt, you ready?  3! 2! 1! JUMP!”}  

And off I went!  Free falling at 68 miles per hour through the most glorious canyon.  I was whipped back up at a nice 70 miles per hour and lost my breath for some of it :) I could’ve stayed on that rope, dangling over that glorious river forever.  It was so freeing.  It was so beautiful.  Life was so real.  My heart was beating so fast.  Steve and Chris were cheering so loudly for me. 

I was pulled back up and offered to jump off again… Backwards this time.  These guys knew me so well!  I laughed, “Absolutely!”  So I prepared the perfect half squat position and sailed off again…

{Just as exhilarating as the first time}

As I hooked into the rope that pulls you up, I thought to myself, “This is how life should be lived every.single.day.” I do not mean this in terms of bungee jumping (but if it was an option I totally would), but in terms of feeling alive and letting go of all these finicky things we hold onto.  When my ten toes were dangling off the edge of that bridge… I didn’t have a worry in the world.  I wasn’t thinking about the things I needed to do, the plans I had to make, or the mistakes I have made, I was just gratefully present.  Gratefully present in that exact moment.  I was freed from every chain that once tied me down.  I felt like a new creation.  I felt my worth as a child of God.  And then I looked up at the sky through tears and thanked God.  Thanked Him for redemption, healing, grace, joy, love, light, and truth.  I thanked Him for permitting my knees to have one last adventure before the next surgery.  I thanked Him for sending me Steve as the most glorious reminder to never stop living, no matter what age your birthday says you are.  And then He looked right back down on me and said, “Britt, my child, you can have this freedom everyday because I have rescued you” And so I vowed to never forget that, and I won’t. 

I’ve taken that feeling with me every day since.  That freedom and that joy have allowed me to meet some incredible strangers.  After I vowed to live everyday to make an impact for the Kingdom, God has brought some glorious souls into my life.  I have met strangers, who are now friends, who have stories that make my heart sing...

A college student who spent a lot of his life addicted to meth… He is now 3 years clean and working with youth who are struggling with drug addictions.  He knows what the chains of addiction feel like and he wants to be a lifeline to those who are battling the same urges he once had.

Four little, beautiful, joyful human souls who aspire to have a full-time lemonade stand business.  They have dreams to save their money so that they can get a cart to roll around to different locations.

Two wonderful ladies from Canada who noticed I was eating by myself in the middle of Portland, so they befriended me and told me of all the wonderful things I must go visit in the city.

The most humble stranger that I have yet to meet face to face, who donated a lump sum of money to Rays of Grace.  I heard the news as I was walking through a park in the middle of Portland.  Seeing as you all know the capacity in which I cry now, you probably know what happened next… Tears.  I could not believe that a stranger would selflessly donate such an incredible amount of money to impact hundreds of souls in the middle of Uganda.

A dear soul named Allen who took care of the grounds in the middle of a forest in Washington State… He walked Steve, Chris, and me to the bridge that we bungee jumped off of.  Allen knew the name of every plant, tree, and berry we passed.  I was fascinated by his knowledge.

Steve and Chris… Two beautiful reminders that there is such thing as life to the full.

Three wonderful sisters who I casually ran into at the most glorious Tulip Festival that I stumbled upon.  They noticed me struggling to capture a picture of myself with all the flowers as well, so they offered to get one for me.

The sweetest little old German lady you will ever meet, Fredrika.  She has lived a rich life filled with beauty and a fair share of pain.  She chose to take away the beautiful parts and learn from the painful ones.

The Kennedy Family… Four generations of family farmers and still going strong.  I met a majority of them and purchased the most delicious fresh apples and pears from their orchards.  They also make incredible hard cider from scratch, so I spent the morning tasting all their flavors and getting to know their family and their story.  It was so beautiful.

A wonderful man who left his professional job and everything he loved, to move to Oregon and fulfill his dream of owning a bike shop.  I rented a bike from him and toured the Oregon Coast one pedal at a time :)

My dear, sweet, incredibly kind sister, Meg.  She has been battling multiple knee injuries and surgeries for years now.  She is at school at the University of Puget Sound and is awaiting her next surgery on June 3^rd.  We were able to spend the afternoon together sharing our hopes and dreams, talking about Africa, talking about salvation, and rejoicing in the gift of being forgiven and free :)

A man whose name I may never know… We were walking along the same beach at sunset, trying to capture the beauty of the setting sun.  We laughed as we maneuvered to obscure angles… trying to get the best shot.  We both agreed that you can’t capture the magnitude of God’s beautiful creation through a lens.  You can try, but it’s better to get out and see it with your own two eyes.

{the sunset God gave us that night}

My sweet souls, Jan and David.  Two incredible humans who know wholeheartedly that God is their Savior through and through.  They lost everything they own in a house fire and are now homeless on the streets of Seattle.  They couldn’t recall the last time they were shown love by the outside world.  They told me, “We’re all just one step away from losing everything”.  I thought of the rich truth in that and how I need to love harder and show grace and kindness to everyone I cross paths with.  We shared a meal underneath the freeway by the pier and laughed as if there wasn’t a single thing wrong in the world.

{love each other deeply}

My friend, Garth, who treated me to a free dessert at his restaurant.  We bonded over tattoos and great music.  I couldn’t thank him enough for such a generous treat.

{dessert tastes even better when it's a gift}

My other half since 5^th grade, Serena.  She lives in Boise, Idaho and I finally got the opportunity to visit her there.  We shared a wonderful meal together and had a slumber party like we were 11 years old again.  We stayed up until the early hours of the morning talking and laughing.  It was so pure and innocent :)

{through thick and thin}

My near and dear friend Al the Alpaca.  We casually ran into each other in the middle of nowhere and hung out for a bit.  We both had joy in common and that made for some awesome conversation exchanged through laughter.

{so much joy//so little time}

A solo traveler like myself who made his way from Texas to Moab.  He was big into adventuring and lived just a short distance from my parent’s house back home.  We agreed that we love the kindness of Texas, but the outdoor life that Utah and Colorado have to offer are pretty hard to beat.

{moab glory}

So as I journeyed through all these different places and met all these beautiful people, I vowed to carry each and every one of them in my heart forever.  I knew that God had strategically placed them all in my path for a perfect reason… For this perfect reason to see more of Him and to share more of His light.  It’s a wonderful thing traveling by yourself… It brings you out of the confines of the familiar and into the beauty of the unknown.  I wouldn’t have met all these people and seen all these things if I would’ve been wrapped up in the comfort of a traveling buddy.  I am so thankful for the solo mission I was given.  I pray that God’s grace and light were seen throughout each adventure I had the opportunity to take. 

I also thanked every place I passed through.  I thanked it for teaching me a lesson that I otherwise would’ve missed if I didn’t pass through there.  I cried every time I left someone or somewhere.  I didn’t cry because I was sad, but I cried because I couldn’t believe God chose me to see and feel all these incredible things.  I was so humbled every time I moved from one place to the next. 

{just passing through}

So thank you, Lord, for rescuing me out of the grave and setting my feet upon the marvelous rock that is filled with eternal sunshine.  Thank you for letting me dance in the light forever :)

Be bold in love and fearless in all that you do :)

i love you all :) carrying your hearts in mine always :)

britt :)

Unconditional.

"If I speak with human eloquence or angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.  If I speak God's word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, 'Jump,' and it jumps, but I don't love, I am nothing.  If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere.  So, not matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love" - 1 Corinthians 13:1-3

{LOVE}

Some days it feels like the word, “love," has lost its beauty and splendor.  We seem to love everything these days… Friends, family, food, a TV show, a great movie, an outfit, a country, a place, a thing, a car… And the list goes on.  For me personally, I can’t get enough of the word.  Rather than throwing it around loosely, I took the time to dig into my heart and figure out why I love. 

{I LOVE THIS PLACE... WHERE I'M WRITING TO YOU FROM}

I’ve had two incredible, tangible examples of love my entire life.  My parents have loved me with their whole hearts.  They have loved me in such a way, that sometimes my heart physically aches when I’m away from them.  They have shown me how to love others as well.  They have shown me that although I do not personally know the strangers I pass by everyday, I sure as heck better show them love.  Whether that comes in the form of a smile, a conversation, a handshake, or a hug, I was called to be a walking example of love.  With this deep-rooted kind of love pulsing through my veins, comes a fair share of heartache.  You see, when you love someone unconditionally, your heart will rejoice with their heart, break with their heart, cry with their heart, laugh with their heart, and so on.  My mom always told me this gift is called compassion…

{COMPASSION}

So as my wonderful mom and dad taught me about love, God brought me the most incredible gift to teach me about compassion.  He comes in the form of a 20-year-old, 6 foot 1 inch, 180 pound, tall, dark, and handsome (big) little brother, Blake.  His heart beats with mine.  Our parents tell us that it has always been this way… Ever since August 20^th, 1992 when my gift arrived in Houston, Texas.

I think back to my childhood memories and nearly all of them involve Blake.  We never needed to talk much because that little word, “love," spoke for both of our hearts.  I remember endless hours in the backyard playing in the mud and dirt with all Blake’s trucks and cars and my Barbie’s.  We would build towns, catch rollie pollies, throw the baseball, kick the soccer ball, watch Barney, eat snack time together, jump on the trampoline, watch cartoons, and everything in between.  

As we grew up, our activities changed a bit, but our hearts never lost touch with one another.  As we start to figure out adulthood together, I continue to sit back in awe of the compassion Blake offers this world.  He is always looking for a way to serve others in the most humble way.  As I came home from the gym early one morning last week, he was washing my sister’s car and mine as well.  Other times, without being asked or told, he will clean the bathroom we share, empty the dishwasher, clean the kitchen, vacuum the floor, or send a text that turns your whole day around for the better.  He doesn’t do any of this for his glory or gain; he does it out of pure love.  There are never strings attached and he is never looking for recognition.  He knows that we are called to love and serve and so he does both… Flawlessly.

Living in the presence of such great love makes me turn my heart to the incredible Creator of this life and the very image of love.  As a child of God, that is His biggest request of me… To be love to all those around me.  To not measure my love in what I’m getting out of the deal or how this will benefit my life, but rather, to give it freely and endlessly… Even when it hurts.  Because that hurt was nailed to a cross so that love could become real to our simple human hearts.  To know that Jesus is the only all-sufficient Savior and that we will never know a greater love than that.  That is unconditional.

{UNCONDITIONAl}

Be mindful of the reality that not all people have gotten to experience this free love yet.  Be mindful that the way you treat that stranger may turn around their entire life.  Be mindful that choosing love and forgiveness is hard… So hard that it would be easier to ignore it.  But I urge you not to.  I urge you to fight for love and figure out what that word means to you, in the depths of your heart.  Restore its value within your own life.  Make it a word you're proud to use.  Be reminded that the thing we call “unconditional love” came at a great price.  Treat it that way.  Be bold in love and rich in sincerity.  We’re only here for such a short time, make the most of it.

One of my favorite songs by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros is called, “All Wash Out”.  It has the most beautiful lyrics that I will leave you with...

{One more for forgiveness

Twisting in the cold

Singing love, love is something to believe in

Too much my defenses

Are dangling from the chain 

Oh but free, free is something to believe in}

With all my love... Always :)

britt :)