“Be strong and take heart” – Psalm 31:24
One of my all time favorite movies is The Brave Little Toaster.
I love how this little ragamuffin crew of appliances takes on life, full
force. Their sense of adventure
and bravery always made me smile and inspired me to dream big dreams of one day
having my own adventures. Who knew
that my adventures would one day be halfway around the world?
I got my big break after I graduated from high school in
2008. I was given the opportunity
to take a year off and serve at a school in Rwanda that was started after the
genocide. I could not be more
pumped for the opportunity. During
my time of preparation, I tried to assemble my own ragamuffin crew to adventure
with. It looked a little different
– me, my dad, my malaria pills, my yellow fever card and endless amounts of
socks and bug spray. Talking about
adventure and undertaking adventure happen to be two very different things. I boarded my British Airways flight
with courage in my heart, my dad in the seat next to me, and two duffle bags
that just missed the 50-pound mark.
I was so set to take on the world!
My feet had never journeyed off the North American continent
and it turns out, halfway around the world is different than anything I had
ever seen, heard, smelled or tasted.
My strength and courage fled from me. I was scared and uncomfortable and questioning what this
“adventure” stuff was all about. I
wanted the courage all of those cartoon household appliances had… And I had none.
My dad stayed with me for my first week in Rwanda. It was an indescribable gift to have
him by my side. I saw a side of my
dad that I had never seen before.
He carried enough strength and courage for not only himself, but for me
as well. He was so brave with each
passing day. We saw things that
startled us, moved us, humbled us, and freaked us out. We saw beauty that no words could
describe. We hiked through the
jungle and up volcanoes to see the mountain gorillas. We walked down dirt roads and kicked old soccer balls with
all the students at school. We
overlooked the vast countryside of Rwanda with our mouths wide open, in shock
of the beauty. We got our hearts
wrecked as we visited different locations that played crucial roles in the
genocide. We heard stories of
grace, forgiveness and healing for those who were personally affected by the
genocide. We took out an old
wooden boat on Lake Burera. We sat
sipping tea on Lake Kivu. We set
up my cell phone. We set up a bank
account. We stared poverty in the
face. Life was in full force,
coming at us at 100 miles per hour for 7 straight days.
It was the day before my dad was leaving and we were sitting
in our Guest House, packing up my things to move in with my new Rwandan family
and packing up his things to return back home. He asked me if I was ok and I lost it. Tears flowed uncontrollably down my
cheeks. I couldn’t control the
mass amounts of emotions that were welling up inside. I was scared. I
had zero courage left. All my
bravery had fled and hid under the bed.
But my dad, with perfect bravery, flawless courage and the most trust in
God I had ever witnessed in him, just gave me the biggest hug. He let me cry. He prayed with me. He wrote down every bible verse he
could think of for me to reference on the days where I was desperate for
affirmation and truth with what I was doing. He took a pen and a piece of paper and made a daily routine
for me. He wrote down all my
contacts in Rwanda. We talked
about “how to do life”. I’m
convinced that him leaving me hurt just as much as it hurt me to say good-bye,
but like the incredible father he is, he forged on with love and bravery
because he knew I needed him.
As I spend this week working in Rwanda, I cannot help recalling
how brave my dad was (and is).
I’ve spent most of the passing moments shedding tears… However, the
state of my tears have changed.
They aren’t the same kind of tears they were 6 years ago… They are tears
of joy and thankfulness and humility for my dad. As I go to all the places we first visited together, walk
the now familiar streets that were once so unknown, hike through the same
jungle we did 6 years ago (on my own this time), and meet with friends who once
knew us as a “package deal”, I can’t help but thank my dad for his strength
when I didn’t have any. If it weren’t
for his flawless bravery, his willingness to hand me over to the Lord, and the
courage to travel across the world for me, my undying faith in the Lord would
not be as steadfast as it is now.
Although neither me nor my dad knew what would become of all of this at
the time, we were trusting in our heavenly Father who loves both of us so much
more than we could ever love each other.
The simple seed of faith that my dad poured into me turned into a garden bursting
with life that some may refer to as Rays of Grace :)
All of you out there reading this: take heart. Rays of Grace is the product of
heartache, brokenness, faith, love, hope, restoration, strength, courage,
willingness, fear, grace, and a whole lot of bravery from a whole lot of
people. It didn’t happen over
night and it will continue to be molded and shaped by our Heavenly Father. He has used so many different people as
tools to bring Rays into a beautiful harvest.
I am shocked at the love I receive from both of my parents. I have never experienced such a deep, rich love. It is in the moments when I am in awe of both of them that the Lord whispers to me, “I love you so much more than that”. Holy cow. That’s a lot of love.
So, Daddy, thank you.
Thank you for believing in me and more so, for trusting in God. Thank you for teaching me that the
foundation of anything and everything is Jesus and without Him, nothing will
stand. Thank you for being brave
for me when I didn’t have an ounce of courage left. Thank you for teaching me so much about my Heavenly
Father. You mean the world to me
and I love you with my whole heart.
I’ll always be your “Pretty Britty”
love love love and grace and some newfound courage,
britt
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