The Brave Little Toaster

“Be strong and take heart” – Psalm 31:24

One of my all time favorite movies is The Brave Little Toaster.  I love how this little ragamuffin crew of appliances takes on life, full force.  Their sense of adventure and bravery always made me smile and inspired me to dream big dreams of one day having my own adventures.  Who knew that my adventures would one day be halfway around the world?   

I got my big break after I graduated from high school in 2008.  I was given the opportunity to take a year off and serve at a school in Rwanda that was started after the genocide.  I could not be more pumped for the opportunity.  During my time of preparation, I tried to assemble my own ragamuffin crew to adventure with.  It looked a little different – me, my dad, my malaria pills, my yellow fever card and endless amounts of socks and bug spray.  Talking about adventure and undertaking adventure happen to be two very different things.  I boarded my British Airways flight with courage in my heart, my dad in the seat next to me, and two duffle bags that just missed the 50-pound mark.  I was so set to take on the world!

My feet had never journeyed off the North American continent and it turns out, halfway around the world is different than anything I had ever seen, heard, smelled or tasted.  My strength and courage fled from me.  I was scared and uncomfortable and questioning what this “adventure” stuff was all about.  I wanted the courage all of those cartoon household appliances had… And I had none. 

My dad stayed with me for my first week in Rwanda.  It was an indescribable gift to have him by my side.  I saw a side of my dad that I had never seen before.  He carried enough strength and courage for not only himself, but for me as well.  He was so brave with each passing day.  We saw things that startled us, moved us, humbled us, and freaked us out.  We saw beauty that no words could describe.  We hiked through the jungle and up volcanoes to see the mountain gorillas.  We walked down dirt roads and kicked old soccer balls with all the students at school.  We overlooked the vast countryside of Rwanda with our mouths wide open, in shock of the beauty.  We got our hearts wrecked as we visited different locations that played crucial roles in the genocide.  We heard stories of grace, forgiveness and healing for those who were personally affected by the genocide.  We took out an old wooden boat on Lake Burera.  We sat sipping tea on Lake Kivu.  We set up my cell phone.  We set up a bank account.  We stared poverty in the face.  Life was in full force, coming at us at 100 miles per hour for 7 straight days. 

It was the day before my dad was leaving and we were sitting in our Guest House, packing up my things to move in with my new Rwandan family and packing up his things to return back home.  He asked me if I was ok and I lost it.  Tears flowed uncontrollably down my cheeks.  I couldn’t control the mass amounts of emotions that were welling up inside.  I was scared.  I had zero courage left.  All my bravery had fled and hid under the bed.  But my dad, with perfect bravery, flawless courage and the most trust in God I had ever witnessed in him, just gave me the biggest hug.  He let me cry.  He prayed with me.  He wrote down every bible verse he could think of for me to reference on the days where I was desperate for affirmation and truth with what I was doing.  He took a pen and a piece of paper and made a daily routine for me.  He wrote down all my contacts in Rwanda.  We talked about “how to do life”.  I’m convinced that him leaving me hurt just as much as it hurt me to say good-bye, but like the incredible father he is, he forged on with love and bravery because he knew I needed him.

As I spend this week working in Rwanda, I cannot help recalling how brave my dad was (and is).  I’ve spent most of the passing moments shedding tears… However, the state of my tears have changed.  They aren’t the same kind of tears they were 6 years ago… They are tears of joy and thankfulness and humility for my dad.  As I go to all the places we first visited together, walk the now familiar streets that were once so unknown, hike through the same jungle we did 6 years ago (on my own this time), and meet with friends who once knew us as a “package deal”, I can’t help but thank my dad for his strength when I didn’t have any.  If it weren’t for his flawless bravery, his willingness to hand me over to the Lord, and the courage to travel across the world for me, my undying faith in the Lord would not be as steadfast as it is now.  Although neither me nor my dad knew what would become of all of this at the time, we were trusting in our heavenly Father who loves both of us so much more than we could ever love each other.  The simple seed of faith that my dad poured into me turned into a garden bursting with life that some may refer to as Rays of Grace :)  

All of you out there reading this: take heart.  Rays of Grace is the product of heartache, brokenness, faith, love, hope, restoration, strength, courage, willingness, fear, grace, and a whole lot of bravery from a whole lot of people.  It didn’t happen over night and it will continue to be molded and shaped by our Heavenly Father.  He has used so many different people as tools to bring Rays into a beautiful harvest.

I am shocked at the love I receive from both of my parents.  I have never experienced such a deep, rich love.  It is in the moments when I am in awe of both of them that the Lord whispers to me, “I love you so much more than that”.  Holy cow.  That’s a lot of love.

  

So, Daddy, thank you.  Thank you for believing in me and more so, for trusting in God.  Thank you for teaching me that the foundation of anything and everything is Jesus and without Him, nothing will stand.  Thank you for being brave for me when I didn’t have an ounce of courage left.  Thank you for teaching me so much about my Heavenly Father.  You mean the world to me and I love you with my whole heart.  I’ll always be your “Pretty Britty”

love love love and grace and some newfound courage,

britt  

Black&White In a World of Color

"After this I looked, and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and in front of the Lamb" - Revelation 7:9

If you would've told me six years ago that I would be a teacher, a preacher, a wiper of boogers, a dryer of tears, a cleaner of throw up and a changer of clothe diapers... I would've been convinced that you were confusing me with someone else.  Now all these things are engrained in my daily routine.  I've learned that nothing is "too gross" and nothing is "outside of my job description".  I've learned how to clean up after our little ones when they get sick on the dirt floor at school.... It's not quite as easy as calling the janitor or grabbing the mop.  I've learned that the simple act of holding a three year old ever so tightly through the pains of malaria can be just as good as medication.  I've learned that if Jesus's name is the reflection of everything that I do, nothing else matters.  I've learned that working your BUTT off for 12 hours a day with nothing in return but stained clothes and a heart that explodes with joy, then it's the best day of your life.  I've learned more about love, grace, patience and sharing from our students in Nursery School than I have in my entire 24 years of life.  I've seen 12 teachers work all day every day to receive nothing in return, a part from 302 students receiving an education.  I've met a small group of people in the slum every Thursday to share The Gospel only to watch our numbers grow and The Word spread to the point where we are now holding studies three different nights a week in three different areas of the slum because the GOOD NEWS is spreading and people are hungry for Jesus.  I've gone to give an offering in a village church only to look into the basket to see two eggs SACRIFICED for The Kingdom.  With tears rolling down my cheeks, my money seemed worthless in that moment.  I've made friends from Pakistan, India, Germany, Canada, America, Rwanda, Uganda, England, and places in between.  I've had cruel wake up calls to being so sheltered... "You're American?  You must be so scared of me because I'm from Pakistan" - I didn't have words... Only tears and a hug and a new Pakistani family to call my own.  I have had every comfort zone erased, every boundary shattered, every notion evaporated and every pretense gone with the wind.  It's as if I am relearning everything right alongside of my favorite 3 year olds at Mountain of Olives.  I have heard the words of a genuine prayer from families that have nothing to their names... Families that have 10 mouths to feed and the government just bull dozed their home because they decided they needed to put a wall up right where that family stayed.  I've had sleepless nights because I feel the Lord challenging me and asking me to give more and go deeper.

I brought in my 24th year thousands of miles from home with a resounding feeling of freedom.  I watched the African sun rise over Lake Victoria as the fishermen paddled out in their wooden boats into the mist of the early morning.  I jumped off a jenky platform plummeting into the Nile River.  I sat in a small village school called Mountain of Olives as 12 humble teachers threw me a birthday party... Sacrificing hard earned money to bring me a birthday cake accompanied by trick candles.  I've swam in the Nile River and shared laughter and drinks with friends that have turned into family.  I have let go of everything I once held onto so tightly.

What have I received in return?  Sheer, utter, complete freedom and joy in Jesus.  A glimpse into The Kingdom every.single.day. because I'm allowing the Lord to show it to me.  Yes, some days I just want to hug my AMAZING SUPER MOM, SUZIE, and go get my nails and toes done and stroll through all of our favorite shops in town.  Yes, I find myself day dreaming of a slumber party with my sister, Sydney... followed by her dressing me in the cutest and latest fashionable little number and eating jellie beans and laughing until we get grounded by our dad at 24 and 26 years old.  Yes, there are times all I want to do is go see my sister, Lindsay, and her new little life in Dallas and eat junk food with her and watch movies all day.  Yes, I would give anything to go on a mountain drive with my brother, Blake.  Sometimes my heart aches for a day filled with skiing and silence with him.  Yes, I would LOVE to sit with  my dad all morning at our favorite little coffee shop in Boerne, Texas talking about EVERY topic under the sun.  Yes, all these things are rich and lovely.  However, heaven will be so much more than my best day or my best moment with any of them.  And until Jesus returns or calls me home, I will let go of these comforts and love and serve with my whole heart right here, right now, in Uganda.

Slum Time is the BEST TIME!

Our Ugandan Director, Jackson 

Lisa, the brain child behind slum bible study

Aggrey, the engineer designing Mountain of Olives Nursery and Primary School

Moments with Baby Chantal 

Perfectly painted birthday sunrise

Bungee jumping into the Nile 

A birthday party for the books

Fetching water with our students 

Visiting Jackson's family and home village 

The happiest walk to school that you ever did see 

Nick teaching P6 bible class 

Our little ones during PE time at school 

I encourage you to live and love abundantly.  To say yes to things that scare you and to try things you never thought you would.  Go outside of your comfort zone and be a light to all those you cross paths with.  Live in a way that makes people fall in love with The Kingdom.  And of course, always join us on this crazy journey at www.raysofgrace.org :)

As always, sending you such big love and grace...

With all of my heart,

britt :)