i carry your heart//i carry it in my heart

“God rescued me from the grave, and now my life is filled with light” – Job 33:28

One week ago today, I met a man named Steve.  Steve and I met on a bridge somewhere in the middle of Washington State.  Steve had just recently celebrated his 58^th birthday and chose to rejoice in all of his wonderful years on earth by jumping off a bridge with his nephew, Chris.  Lucky for me, I also woke up and decided that last Sunday would be an excellent day to jump off that same bridge.  You see, the day before, I had run into a sign that read, “Bungee jump off the highest bridge in North America”…. And I thought, “Hey self, let’s do it”. 

So there we were, Steve, Chris and I, all getting ready to loosen our grips on reality and free fall into a breathtaking canyon.  

{.glory.}

The birthday boy was up first.  My heart flooded with joy and my eyes overflowed with tears as I watched him hoist himself up over the bridge railing, and out onto the tiny edge that you throw yourself off of.  The smile on his face couldn’t be removed, even if he tried.  Steve was laughing.  Steve was breathing.  Steve was nervous.  Steve was alive.  My eyes shamelessly let the tears fall as I saw his passion for this life come alive.  As our bungee friends yelled, “3! 2! 1! JUMP!”, Steve hurled himself into the mystic.  His nephew, Chris, and I were laughing and clapping and taking pictures and videos.  As they pulled Steve up out of the valley, his smile was even more radiant than before.  I could tell he felt his heart beating in his chest.  I could tell he would never forget his 58^th birthday.

Then it was my turn.  I handed my camera to my newfound friends and asked if they could snap a quick shot of me before so that I could send my mom a quick,

{“Hey, just about to jump off a bridge” message}

They laughed and recommended that perhaps I send her a picture after I have made it back up safely… I took their advice :) I breezed through the safety check and then got my very own invitation to step over the railing and out onto the ledge.  

{invitation accepted}

It feels a lot different when you’re the one jumping rather than watching your new friends jump.  I couldn’t stop laughing and smiling as I thought about what an incredible opportunity this was.  Then just like that, my instructions came…

{“Alright Britt, you ready?  3! 2! 1! JUMP!”}  

And off I went!  Free falling at 68 miles per hour through the most glorious canyon.  I was whipped back up at a nice 70 miles per hour and lost my breath for some of it :) I could’ve stayed on that rope, dangling over that glorious river forever.  It was so freeing.  It was so beautiful.  Life was so real.  My heart was beating so fast.  Steve and Chris were cheering so loudly for me. 

I was pulled back up and offered to jump off again… Backwards this time.  These guys knew me so well!  I laughed, “Absolutely!”  So I prepared the perfect half squat position and sailed off again…

{Just as exhilarating as the first time}

As I hooked into the rope that pulls you up, I thought to myself, “This is how life should be lived every.single.day.” I do not mean this in terms of bungee jumping (but if it was an option I totally would), but in terms of feeling alive and letting go of all these finicky things we hold onto.  When my ten toes were dangling off the edge of that bridge… I didn’t have a worry in the world.  I wasn’t thinking about the things I needed to do, the plans I had to make, or the mistakes I have made, I was just gratefully present.  Gratefully present in that exact moment.  I was freed from every chain that once tied me down.  I felt like a new creation.  I felt my worth as a child of God.  And then I looked up at the sky through tears and thanked God.  Thanked Him for redemption, healing, grace, joy, love, light, and truth.  I thanked Him for permitting my knees to have one last adventure before the next surgery.  I thanked Him for sending me Steve as the most glorious reminder to never stop living, no matter what age your birthday says you are.  And then He looked right back down on me and said, “Britt, my child, you can have this freedom everyday because I have rescued you” And so I vowed to never forget that, and I won’t. 

I’ve taken that feeling with me every day since.  That freedom and that joy have allowed me to meet some incredible strangers.  After I vowed to live everyday to make an impact for the Kingdom, God has brought some glorious souls into my life.  I have met strangers, who are now friends, who have stories that make my heart sing...

A college student who spent a lot of his life addicted to meth… He is now 3 years clean and working with youth who are struggling with drug addictions.  He knows what the chains of addiction feel like and he wants to be a lifeline to those who are battling the same urges he once had.

Four little, beautiful, joyful human souls who aspire to have a full-time lemonade stand business.  They have dreams to save their money so that they can get a cart to roll around to different locations.

Two wonderful ladies from Canada who noticed I was eating by myself in the middle of Portland, so they befriended me and told me of all the wonderful things I must go visit in the city.

The most humble stranger that I have yet to meet face to face, who donated a lump sum of money to Rays of Grace.  I heard the news as I was walking through a park in the middle of Portland.  Seeing as you all know the capacity in which I cry now, you probably know what happened next… Tears.  I could not believe that a stranger would selflessly donate such an incredible amount of money to impact hundreds of souls in the middle of Uganda.

A dear soul named Allen who took care of the grounds in the middle of a forest in Washington State… He walked Steve, Chris, and me to the bridge that we bungee jumped off of.  Allen knew the name of every plant, tree, and berry we passed.  I was fascinated by his knowledge.

Steve and Chris… Two beautiful reminders that there is such thing as life to the full.

Three wonderful sisters who I casually ran into at the most glorious Tulip Festival that I stumbled upon.  They noticed me struggling to capture a picture of myself with all the flowers as well, so they offered to get one for me.

The sweetest little old German lady you will ever meet, Fredrika.  She has lived a rich life filled with beauty and a fair share of pain.  She chose to take away the beautiful parts and learn from the painful ones.

The Kennedy Family… Four generations of family farmers and still going strong.  I met a majority of them and purchased the most delicious fresh apples and pears from their orchards.  They also make incredible hard cider from scratch, so I spent the morning tasting all their flavors and getting to know their family and their story.  It was so beautiful.

A wonderful man who left his professional job and everything he loved, to move to Oregon and fulfill his dream of owning a bike shop.  I rented a bike from him and toured the Oregon Coast one pedal at a time :)

My dear, sweet, incredibly kind sister, Meg.  She has been battling multiple knee injuries and surgeries for years now.  She is at school at the University of Puget Sound and is awaiting her next surgery on June 3^rd.  We were able to spend the afternoon together sharing our hopes and dreams, talking about Africa, talking about salvation, and rejoicing in the gift of being forgiven and free :)

A man whose name I may never know… We were walking along the same beach at sunset, trying to capture the beauty of the setting sun.  We laughed as we maneuvered to obscure angles… trying to get the best shot.  We both agreed that you can’t capture the magnitude of God’s beautiful creation through a lens.  You can try, but it’s better to get out and see it with your own two eyes.

{the sunset God gave us that night}

My sweet souls, Jan and David.  Two incredible humans who know wholeheartedly that God is their Savior through and through.  They lost everything they own in a house fire and are now homeless on the streets of Seattle.  They couldn’t recall the last time they were shown love by the outside world.  They told me, “We’re all just one step away from losing everything”.  I thought of the rich truth in that and how I need to love harder and show grace and kindness to everyone I cross paths with.  We shared a meal underneath the freeway by the pier and laughed as if there wasn’t a single thing wrong in the world.

{love each other deeply}

My friend, Garth, who treated me to a free dessert at his restaurant.  We bonded over tattoos and great music.  I couldn’t thank him enough for such a generous treat.

{dessert tastes even better when it's a gift}

My other half since 5^th grade, Serena.  She lives in Boise, Idaho and I finally got the opportunity to visit her there.  We shared a wonderful meal together and had a slumber party like we were 11 years old again.  We stayed up until the early hours of the morning talking and laughing.  It was so pure and innocent :)

{through thick and thin}

My near and dear friend Al the Alpaca.  We casually ran into each other in the middle of nowhere and hung out for a bit.  We both had joy in common and that made for some awesome conversation exchanged through laughter.

{so much joy//so little time}

A solo traveler like myself who made his way from Texas to Moab.  He was big into adventuring and lived just a short distance from my parent’s house back home.  We agreed that we love the kindness of Texas, but the outdoor life that Utah and Colorado have to offer are pretty hard to beat.

{moab glory}

So as I journeyed through all these different places and met all these beautiful people, I vowed to carry each and every one of them in my heart forever.  I knew that God had strategically placed them all in my path for a perfect reason… For this perfect reason to see more of Him and to share more of His light.  It’s a wonderful thing traveling by yourself… It brings you out of the confines of the familiar and into the beauty of the unknown.  I wouldn’t have met all these people and seen all these things if I would’ve been wrapped up in the comfort of a traveling buddy.  I am so thankful for the solo mission I was given.  I pray that God’s grace and light were seen throughout each adventure I had the opportunity to take. 

I also thanked every place I passed through.  I thanked it for teaching me a lesson that I otherwise would’ve missed if I didn’t pass through there.  I cried every time I left someone or somewhere.  I didn’t cry because I was sad, but I cried because I couldn’t believe God chose me to see and feel all these incredible things.  I was so humbled every time I moved from one place to the next. 

{just passing through}

So thank you, Lord, for rescuing me out of the grave and setting my feet upon the marvelous rock that is filled with eternal sunshine.  Thank you for letting me dance in the light forever :)

Be bold in love and fearless in all that you do :)

i love you all :) carrying your hearts in mine always :)

britt :)